Therapeutic Mama

Spontaneous Mama | January 8, 2010

We have schedules, deadlines, work, school and home responsibilities, and we need to get things done “yesterday”.  But how many times have you heard a veteran parent say “enjoy this time with your kids, because the time goes so fast!”.  Time does continue quickly on, and there are responsibilities we must continue to do in order to have provisions and live comfortably.

These activities become routine to us.  Our brain gets used to routine easily, so much so, that who among us can say they have never done something on “auto pilot”?  I am guilty of driving the kids to school and half way realizing, “How did I get here?”.  Believe it or not, this is at times a healthy function.  It allows our attentions to go to other things while we are doing something we are experts at.  Parents need this function.  It lets you change a diaper while calling your husband to let him know what to get at the supermarket before he comes home.  It helps you drive to work while stopping your kids from killing each other in the back seat.

Routine, however, can put our lives into a rut that  we feel we can’t get out of.  Most of us don’t get our kicks from following our schedule for the entire week without any changes.  Without some small differences or surprises in our day, we just survive.

My challenge to you, therefore is to step out of this routine.  How?  By being spontaneous.   The best thing is, you don’t need to be rich to do this.  All you need is to look at what is around you and make a change you wouldn’t normally do.

We usually think of someone who is spontaneous as a person who buys tickets for a cruise without notice and surprises their lover the night before the trip.  Yes, this is spontaneous, but also impulsive and impractical for most of us.  Others link spontaneity with irresponsibility.  It makes them feel like doing something without planning is something bad.

The word “spontaneous” is defined by www.dictionary.com as:

“–adjective

I really like two things about this definition.  The first is that emphasis is on the fact that being spontaneous is natural, without effort, not premeditated and organic.  It is something that is more than easy to do–its effortless! The second thing is that it explains that it is a term that describes how plants grow “naturally or without cultivation”.  This is how a plant grows without anyone interrupting its normal process.  What a freeing image!  To be spontaneous is to do something that comes naturally to us, when we don’t have anyone cutting us down or stopping us from doing it.

Children are experts at spontaneity.  How many times have we heard our children be way too quiet and we know they are up to something.  When we go to their rooms we find them completely naked, completely covered in clothes, completely covered in paint, or completely –fill in your own crazy experience here–?  And when you look at them, they are so completely happy!  They don’t even realize that they have irked us with their insolent challenge to our structure for the day. These are the moments we let go by too quickly, and then we look back and say, “my, how those days went by…”.  If you slow down and enjoy the moment , even join in on the moment, we will make a magical moment in time where we forget the routine and show love to our children, and create a special memory.

Let’s learn from our children and do small things to change-up the day.  This is stimulating for you and for your children.  Here are a few spontaneous things you can do that I believe will make your day different and be a breath of fresh air and slow you down so that you can enjoy life and actually live instead of just surviving:

• eat dinner on the living room floor.
• if you have a slow day coming at work, play hookie with your kids.
• play the radio tonight and dance with your kids instead of watching TV
• grab some arts and craft supplies and let your kids make a mess on the kitchen table.  Hang the resulting artwork up.
• call your spouse and talk dirty to them while they are at work.
• or, text them the same naughty thoughts.
• don’t tell your family you are going to stay home and prepare them a special meal.
• put pillows and blankets in the living room and have a sleepover with your family in the middle of the week.
• have a movie night at home with your kids.
• get a babysitter to watch the kids for 2 or 3 hours and do absolutely nothing either alone or with your spouse.
• rearrange your furniture at home.
• if you have some extra money, buy an outfit you wouldn’t normally buy.
• do your work responsibilities in a different order than you usually do.
• take a different route to work or school.
• read something you don’t usually read.
• go to a restaurant you have never tried.  Order something you never ordered.

What are some of your most fun and spontaneous things you have done to change-up your day?