Have you ever wished you had someone to romance you? Wine and dine you? Give you that perfect gift? Make you feel like a queen or king?
Are you single or have a loved one who just isn’t the romantic type?
It is frustrating to desire something like romance because society has told us it is something our lovers have to give us. One of the definitions of “romance” as defined by Webster’s is “a romantic attachment or episode between lovers”. The word “romantic” as defined by Webster’s is “1. Imaginary 2. Visionary 3. having an imaginative or emotional appeal 4. of, relating to or having the characteristics of romanticism”.
Romance is all the definitions stated above. Romance allows us to use our imagination and creativity in order to show love, appreciation or admiration. What happens, however, when we perceive that romance does not enter our lives? Should we give up or hope that one day our Prince Charming or the woman of our dreams will come in and whisk us away in a whirlwind of rose petals and wine?
What about you who are already in a relationship? Should you lay back in your bed and dream about when your loved one might decide to do that “special something” you’ve wanted them to come up with and do all this time?
I’d like to suggest something outside the box. Something you may find silly, or perhaps you may think is not going to work. Have you ever romanced yourself?
Sure, society tells us that romance has to come from someone else in the form of flowers, chocolate or a diamond on the 14th of February. I believe this is false. It is a belief that in the end sets us up for disappointment, feelings of being unworthy, feelings of sadness and of anger.
You deserve appreciation for all the things you do, and all the things you are. Who knows all the things you work so hard for better than yourself? Who knows the “you” yourself and others have come to know and love better than the person standing in front of you in the mirror?
As a parent, you do countless things that are selfless and caring for your kids. As women, we nurture and give to the people around us. Men, you protect and care for those around you. And some men and women (MOST men and women) actually do both! At work, you give your best for the success of your work place. You know your own best traits. You know if you are fun-loving, kind, giving, fruitful, intelligent, sexy, hard-working, generous, handsome, funny, simple, extravagant, have a good heart, whatever you know to be true about yourself. It deserves recognition! And who better to recognize it the way it should be recognized than by yourself! You know what you enjoy and makes you feel good.
My challenge today, if you choose to accept it, is to romance yourself. Every week, decide that you will recognize something in your own life by doing something romantic. Remember that the key to romance is not the amount of money you have, it’s the amount of imagination you use.
Here are a few examples of things you can do to get you started:
–Had a long week at work? Get a little plastic bin, fill it up with some warm water, some soap that you enjoy (for the more fancy type if you have it, bath salts, perfumed bath oils, etc.) and treat yourself to a foot soak. If you have more time and have a bath, feel free to make this a full body experience.
–Send yourself a love letter in the mail. Write yourself a poem, or a quick note about something positive in yourself. When it arrives, don’t open it until you can read it to yourself out loud in the mirror.
–Get a post-it or other sticky pad and whenever you get frustrated or upset during the day, write yourself a note telling yourself how wonderful you are, or some other affirming statement to yourself. When you get home, stick them on your bathroom mirror. The next morning, read them to yourself to start of the day on a positive note.
–Send yourself flowers or chocolates or a fruit basket or sexy lingerie or anything you would enjoy. Make sure you write a note to yourself.
–Take yourself on a romantic dinner. Make reservations, get dressed in your sexiest dress or most handsome suit and enjoy your own company.
–Call the local radio station and dedicate a song to yourself. Or, post yourself a video on facebook or other public site, and dedicate it to yourself, explaining why.
–Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, pedicure or other self-pampering services.
–Buy some sexy underwear or nighttime wear (pj’s, lingerie, etc.) not for any other person’s benefit but for your own.
–Make a candlelight dinner for one and serve yourself your favorite meal.
Try doing any of these or better yet, making one of your own up once a week for the next 4 weeks. As you try them, come back here and post your progress. What did you try? What felt good? Were any feelings stirred up in general? Your posts might encourage someone to try it, or give them an idea of something to do. I love your feedback, it is very romantic of you!
The message I want you to have is that it is empowering to take back the right to romance ourselves and not depend on others to appreciate us. It is strengthening to know that you can use your own creativity to give something special and meaningful to yourself. It is a God-given gift, perhaps one of the most special, to be able to imagine and create. Try this, and let me know how you feel afterwards.
I think you hit this right on. We need to love ourselves. It’s is wonderful to be loved, romanced and catered to by another but you have to love yourself first. It is very easy to do for everyone else and neglect yourself. I applaude you for putting this out there for others to realize. You can’t look to someone else for your happiness. You need to make your own happiness and then incorporate the rest.
Comment by Beth — September 7, 2010 @ 10:17 am